I LOVE listening to podcasts because I get to feel like I’m with a group of friends, engaged in meaningful conversation. My academic work doesn’t create much room for this kind of connection so I look for it in other places. Yet, as Berg and Seeber (2016) note, when we don’t connect meaningfully to other academics, we get caught up in the shame game. Drawing on the work of Brene Brown, they write:
Academic shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we aren’t as smart or capable as our colleagues, that our scholarship and teaching isn’t as good as that of our colleagues, that our comments in a meeting or at a speaker event aren’t as rigorous as that of our colleagues, and therefore we are unworthy of belonging to the community of great minds (p. 87).
Yep, that’s me! My work addiction was a symptom of my not feeling good enough. I thought that if I worked hard enough I could fool people into believing that I was actually worthy of being an academic. It didn’t work. Instead, I found myself burned out, angry, sad, and totally disconnected from other people. Brown’s research (2010) shows us that as long as we stay isolated and don’t speak about our shame, we remain stuck in unhealthy patterns.
That’s why this year (Happy New Year!), I’m committing to spending more time in conversation with colleagues. I want to make a weekly date with some of my most beloved colleagues (and keep my commitment!), ask them questions about how they’re doing, and willingly explore my own challenges and successes in both academia (and life). And hey, maybe these weekly get-togethers will turn into a revolution! As Berg and Seeber write, “Collaboration is about thinking together. And undertaken in that spirit, collaboration can allow us to challenge neoliberal models of higher education and the remasculinization of the academy” (p. 89).
So this year, here’s to talking to each other, ridding ourselves of shame, and maybe jump-starting a revolution! May we be happy, healthy, and at peace. Sending love to you now and always.
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Berg, M. & Seeber, B.K. (2016). The Slow Professor: Challenging the Culture of Speech in the Academy. Toronto: University of Toronto Press.
Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are. Center City: Hazelden.