“Busyness and workaholism can be a form of self-destructive behavior similar to alcoholism and drug or food addiction. It works the same to numb the pain.” -Dr. Karyl McBride
My childhood taught me to be very passive, hopeless, and believe very little in my own abilities while working very diligently to take care of adults’ emotional needs.
This pattern, which I learned very young, paved the way to my work addiction. As I continued to believe very little in my own abilities, my work addiction became my way of avoiding this painful belief. Overworking offered the promise of showing others (and proving to myself) that I was competent and capable. It also allowed me to perpetuate the patterns I’d learned in childhood. My career’s insatiable need to take everything from me, including all my emotional energy and time felt a lot like my upbringing. Once again, I was feeding a monster and neglecting my own health, relationships, and home. And in fact, if any of these things needed my attention, I resented their interrupting my work.
Trauma robs a person of her abilities to feel alive. Since unraveling how the complexities of my childhood had weaved themselves into my adult work habits, I’ve slowly begun to learn how to feel alive. To those of you who still suffer from work addiction, let me tell you how good life can get! TRULY! I’m learning to love cooking for my family, doing crafts with my daughter, and I’m NOTICING what it feels like to live a life of ease. It’s all such a relief to wake up from that work-addicted nightmare.