“Busyness and workaholism can be a form of self-destructive behavior similar to alcoholism and drug or food addiction. It works the same to numb the pain.” -Dr. Karyl McBride

My childhood taught me to be very passive, hopeless, and believe very little in my own abilities while working very diligently to take care of adults’ emotional needs.

This pattern, which I learned very young, paved the way to my work addiction. [Read more…]

A year and a half ago, after a cancer diagnosis and a good freak-out about what might happen to my 3-year-old daughter and my husband if I die, it occurred to me that I’d been a workaholic. After two surgeries, I was cancer free, but the breakdown I had at that time has stuck with me and reminds me, everyday, to do more of what I want and less of what I don’t want. At the time of my breakdown, while I hugged and kissed my daughter with an emotional intensity I’d never felt, and pleaded with God (the Universe…whatever) to let me live, it struck me that I’d been living a work-addicted life and, at this point, faced with the possibility of death, I deeply regretted my decisions to work rather than spend time with my family and friends. I suddenly wanted a do-over and thankfully I got one. [Read more…]

I’m on maternity leave and I just earned tenure. Things are good. After a super stormy 2016, I’m so very grateful for the new gifts in my life. I’ve grown a lot in the last several months: I’m realizing that life is imperfect and that when I resist the moment, as it is, I get angry, sad, anxious, and stressed. My job is not ideal: it’s not a perfect fit for me. I sometimes describe it as soul-crushing. But for this moment, I can accept that it is part of my current reality. Of course that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t, at some point, leave my job. It does, however, mean I can healthily navigate it for the time being. [Read more…]

I reluctantly walked up the four flights of stairs to my office one Tuesday morning. As I walked, I became increasingly anxious–a familiar feeling I get every single time I’m on campus. [Read more…]